October Couldn't get here any faster...

It's a new month. Thank God.

September couldn't end any faster. It was a rough month for me but good at the same time. God is an interesting God. Trials are an interesting experience as well.

In the beginning of the month i asked God, in a quiet time, to teach me something, to help me grow and mature, and no matter what, i asked him to do it any way He saw fit. Well He granted that request but in a way i never thought He would.

September was a hard month for me spiritually. My "rocks" were more scattered then any time i can remember. I struggled with how i saw God and who He was in my life. Was i making him my Lord of all? Nope. Was I living a life pleasing to Him? Nope. Did i trust Him with anything in my life? Nope.

From this, i came to some realizations:
I realized last month i was living a life of little faith.
I realized I was doing things, not for God, but for others and to please man or myself.
I realized I was motivated for the wrong reasons.
I realized that i was not living a life i was proud of.
I realized that i was not joyful.

These realizations shook me a little. And by a little i mean, a lot. The last realization was the hardest for me, i am not joyful. I have lost my joy in Christ.

In Petra (our college group), we are studying and going through the book When I Don't Desire God: How to Fight for Joy. This book is one of the reasons why i have come to the conclusion that i was not joyful. I have realized that I do not take joy in the Lord, which the bible commands us to. I have been living a life of to do's and it is making me a little resentful. Not to anyone person, but actually to God. How ridiculous is that??? I am resentful to God!

But in all these realizations, came good. No, came amazing. I thank God so much for these realizations because it allowed me to look at my life and change. I am renewed, refreshed, and excited to continue my journey in my relationship with Him.

So a new month is amongst us. What is He teaching YOU? What trials are you going through? I told my college group that i pray they would go through hard times. I told them i pray that they would be challenged. (It's a weird prayer, i know)

For all of you going through hard times, as elementary as it sounds, go to him. Seek Him. And He will show himself in such an amazing way. You will learn, grow, mature, and eventually... thank Him for that trial.